As dramatic as it begun, I have stopped training for the Marathon. For the sake of my health I had to. Hear me out. I began the training with gusto and enthusiasm. I was determined to finish and survive the 42km on 7th December. Except my training did not go as plan.
First, the training was stressing the hell out of me! I kept thinking I had to run everyday, train everyday. I was worried sick when I didn’t because I was just so freaking tired. And when I did push myself out of the door, I was all zombified. Every step was a blur. When I decided to stop training three days ago, it was as if someone had set me free. Instantly I felt lighter and a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders.
Second, training in my whole tired fatigue state left me more exhausted. Losing sleep as a result of the adrenaline from long runs was not the worst part. You know what happens when one lacks sleep? Crave for sugar. Yep, all I wanted to eat was chocolate, cookies, and more chocolate. All day. I have gained 3kg since my training began. It is not muscle. It’s pure fat from the crap I have been ingesting and my tired self can’t be bother to bring myself to pick the good food.
Third, as my metabolic rate increased, my intuitive self disappeared. I lost any willpower. I lost the ability to stop and assess if the food in front of me was fattening or my body had enough. I was inhaling everything in sight. Anything in front of me was not safe. You may be able to tell from my onslaught of foodie posts beginning from lunch on Friday, dinner on the same day, to the monumental lunch on Sunday while most of my family went for healthier options.
Fourth, and most damningly of all, my knees hurt so badly. This morning I woke up to a sudden pain in my right kneecap. At first I wondered if I was just dreaming. So I lay in bed and waited. Surely enough, a searing pain around my right kneecap surfaced then quickly subsided. Stunned would not describe my feelings and sadness at that point. I have done it. Did myself in.
So for now, I am giving myself a big fat break while I assess how to safely and heathily go forward this training. I sure am not ready to throw money down the drain and give up on 7th December. Maybe I could walk the whole way?